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Mechteld will tell me that anyone can become a patron saint; choose your cause and apply for the vocation. The training is not dissimilar to the Knowledge the test for London taxi drivers. Instead of practising getting from A to B, you learn how to navigate fate and fortune. There’s not much money in it but the job satisfaction is beyond measure. Mechteld cautions that in these times of universal diaspora, compulsory multi-tasking and diminishing attention spans, we all need someone to look over our shoulder.

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